Self Absorption

I'm conscious of the above term (defined as: "preoccupation with oneself to the exclusion of others or the outside world") when I contemplate what I wrote yesterday.  Yes, there are flood advisories in West Michigan and we do live in a floodplain and the river is now up to flood stage and rising.  But in comparison to what happened last night amid tornados across the South, my issues are minute. MSNBC is reporting that already 213 are reported dead, and that number will no doubt rise---a number that pales in comparison to Japan's terrible earthquake disaster.  And yet, I easily forget this devastation and focus on my own issues. I've worked sand-bag lines helping to save homes and I've donated to Haiti relief, but bottom line, my own problems are foremost.


Self-absorption, I think, is a human/animal quality of self-preservation.  I cannot weep over every great (and small) tragedy or I would be weeping all the time---and confined to a mental institution. I came to terms with this more than 40 years ago when my mother was killed in an auto accident.  My co-workers were all sympathetic after I returned to New Jersey from the Wisconsin funeral, but a few hours later I heard them in the lunch room howling with laughter, having forgotten my pain.  That's how it should be. I decided that then and there.  My sorrow is my own; others can comfort, but bottom line, I must bear the grief alone (and with others who are personally affected).  Maybe the term self-absorption is too strong, but I think it's good to chide myself with the term as a way of putting my own issues into perspective.

Floodplain Angst

Why, why, WHY would anyone choose to live in a floodplain?  Our river view is spectacular and it's very affordable waterfront living, but in times like these we envy those living on mountains.  The rain simply won't stop.  I'm looking at the NOAA website at Comstock Park at this very moment, knowing it's lying when it tells me the river has gone down a half inch in the last few hours and that it won't reach flood stage in the next week.  Is this some kind of conspiracy?  Is the government toying with us?  So I worry and fret. I wonder if anyone has ever done a psychological study of folks like us.  Are we nuts to begin with, or do we slowly lose it with all the tension flood cycles create?  Anyone who is acquainted with river-rats surly knows that we don't rank high on the mental stability charts. 

The weather has been dominating our lives for the past few weeks---cold and rainy almost every day, but even in the midst of the bad weather there were a few moments when it seemed like all was well, as this early evening photo shows.  I looked out the window to the east amid the dark clouds only to see signs of the sun setting in the west.

 The weather suddenly broke this past Saturday with sunny skies and a high near 80 degrees.  We decided to go out for a little biking and ended up north of Rockford, more than 20 miles round-trip.  Not bad for a season opener.